The Ultimate Naughty list encouraged visitors to anonymously share their naughtiest moments of 2009. The final list was destroyed on New Year’s Eve in an effort to absolve all contributors of their malevolent misdeeds. Here are a few of our favorite naughty bits.
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Panties? Who needs 'em
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This summer I took old and expired credit cards to bars I'd never go to again, racked up hundreds of dollars in liquor, and then bailed on the tab. This was the year of the Phantom Tab.
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I left a top loader in my friend’s toilet. That’s when you **** in the tank on top of the toilet. Whenever someone flushes, the toilet inexplicably fills with ****. Flush again. More ****. Eventually, they figure it out, open the tank and see your ****. Totally vile.
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To get back at an ex, I created a fake profile on a dating site he was on and contacted him. He was enamored by this 'girl of his dreams' in email. When it came time for them to finally meet, I set it up so that he was to meet her at a nice restaurant with a bottle of expensive wine waiting. Meanwhile, I had a lovely ****tail at the bar and discreetly watched him wait, and wait, and wait. An hour and half the bottle later, he left looking miserable and a little poorer from the $75 bottle of wine. It was a sweet victory after the misery that he put me through.
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My neighbor's dog barks non-stop. I stole some downers from my Mom and hid them in some doggie treats. I think I gave him too many...
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I often serve my girlfriend's friends way too much alcohol just so I can watch the inveitable meltdowns.
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Brought 4 men back to my apartment and hooked up with all of them.
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At a party, we decided to setup this annoying friend of ours who always claims he can handle his liquor. We peed in a beer bottle and then put the lid back on and put it in the freezer. After it was ice cold, someone brought him another "beer". After taking a swig, he proclaimed, "This American beer tastes like piss!" He finished the whole thing, then spent the night puking his guts out.
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One of my co-workers told me about how he sniffed his grandmothers panties once. He swore me to secrecy on the Bible. I told everyone at the office. Lord forgive me.
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I hooked up with my daughter's BFF. My daughter doesn't know about it. (neither does my my wife...)
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